Before I begin, I must inform you that I had been a fan of Larry The Cable Guy (Aka: Dan Whitney) before I met him. I LOVED him and anything to do with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. (Which also starred Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall) So you can imagine my surprise when Justin, one of my college peers (whose aunt was the event manager for the Nutter Center) asked me if I wanted to be the runner for Larry The Cable Guy when he came to campus. There was no question. It was set for a Wednesday, which was my busiest day of the week. I think I had every single class that day but it didn’t matter. I ditched them all. I was not going to miss this opportunity.
First I met with the production manager Terry and a couple members of the team who travel with the show. They were all very nice and down to earth (I later learned that most people with this type of job aren't). They told me there wasn’t much I needed to do at that point so I could just sit in the lounge area and wait for whenever someone needed me. I went over my Spanish flashcards and sat around with the crew, who were busy renting out a bowling alley for their next stop on the tour. It was someone’s birthday so they were doing this with very little notice but the bowling alley didn’t seem to mind. You drop Larry The Cable Guy’s name and I guess everyone is at your beckon call. Oh yeah....and no one bowls anymore so why would you turn that kind of business down?
My first job was to drive all the bus and truck drivers to the hotel across the street so they could check into a room for the day and sleep. I guess this makes sense but I was unaware that people who are drivers for any sort of comedy or music tour basically have to be nocturnal. They sleep during the day and drive at night. That is how everyone gets to the next city by 10 every morning. Still….that has to be exhausting, but the guys didn’t seem to mind. I am sure they are well-paid.
I returned to the Nutter Center shortly afterward and still no sign of Dan (aka: Larry. But I am going to refer to him by his actual name because I just don’t feel like typing out Larry the Cable Guy a hundred times. And everyone in real life calls him Dan.) That was short-lived though because as we were all congregated outside, Dan made himself present. I did my best to not act shocked and maintain my composure because I didn’t want to be “that person” who freaked out because OMYGAWD That’s LARRY THE CABLE GUY!!!! After making small talk with his crew members, Dan looked at me and started pointing to all the trees surrounding the Nutter Center. He mentioned all the pretty colors of the trees (It was fall) and how it looked just like his underwear streaks. I busted out laughing and asked him what the hell he was eating and told him he needed to use more TP. He laughed. (Yay Me!)
The crew began to discuss lunch options and I told them all the places there were to eat around there and they decided on Chilis. Dan was, at the time, doing Nutri-system and had lost a bunch of weight so he opted out of the Chili’s adventure. Not that I was going to stay and eat with them, but it would have been cool to say I drove Larry the Cable Guy around in my car. HA! Which brings me to my car. I had a Dodge Intrepid. This meant I was going to have to make 2 trips to get everyone to Chili’s. There was just 1 more person going than my car would seat. (This will play into the story later) So I took 2 trips and everyone made it. Terry told me he would call me when they were done so I had some downtime. I used this time to meet up with Justin and our friend Jeff on campus and basically freak out about how awesome it was that I met Larry The Cable Guy. Little did I know, that was just the beginning…
Terry called me after about an hour and a half so I could go pick everyone up at Chili’s. They all decided that they did not want to wait for me to make 2 trips and since The Nutter Center was literally right down the street from Chili’s, so 4 grown men crammed into the back of my car, 1 across the laps of the other 3 while Terry sat up front . Everyone laughing in hysterics! I had to take a picture. Here ya go:
So my crammed-ass car hauled everyone back to the Nutter Center where I had more down time. Dan even hung out with us for a while and asked me questions about myself (and my Spanish flashcards) and even talked about his ex girlfriend and his veneers he recently got. (Yes he showed me before and after pictures) Justin later told me this was not normal and you usually never have down time. Dan’s crew is just the most laid back crew to work with. Lucky Me! After a while I was called out to the 2 buses that were parked in the loading area. They were Dan’s bus, and the bus of Reno Collier, his opening act. Reno and Dan were both sitting in his bus and Reno stepped down to the door where I was standing. I didn’t get on the bus but I got a good glimpse of the inside. HO-LY Crap! I have yet to see a house that was as nice as the inside of this bus (At least what I saw of it) There was a leather seating area in the front with a HUGE flat screen mounted on the wall. It was super decked out and super nice. I guess if you are an act as big As Larry The Cable Guy and you spend a lot of your time on the road, I can understand why you would want it to be nice, especially if you make a doctor’s annual salary in ONE show. (No not exaggerating at all. No wonder these dudes rent out bowling allies at the drop of a hat) Reno was very nice and handed me some cash asked me to run to a gas station and pick up some beer and a couple cans of Skoal. Easy enough, right? WRONG! Not for me. I got in my car and called Justin. He asked me how it was going. I said great except for one tiny problem:
“Um…Justin? What’s Skoal?”
Now I have to admit, even though I am from the Midwest and I like country music and redneck jokes, I was a 22 year old female who had never smoked a day in her life and had only started drinking 2 years earlier. I had somehow managed to remain sheltered enough to not know what DIPPING was let alone Skoal. Justin explained it to me, and although I was still confused, I managed to find that AND the beer they wanted. (this will also play into the story later)
As soon as I got back, I was instructed to pick up one of the truck-drivers and take him through the McDonalds drive through so he could have something to eat. He drove a semi-for lots of famous acts. I asked him to tell me the worst person he worked for and he said George Lopez. I can’t remember why though. Sorry! Just know that George Lopez sucks.
So lets see…(This was about 5 ½ years ago so I am trying to piece this in order as I remember it). After I got back to the Nutter Center, people were starting to pour in. I walked back to the lounge area and it was full of a catered food spread. I was told to grab some by Dan himself, so I did. Fans and some VIP began to pour into the lounge area as well and Dan slipped out of his sleeveless NRA shirt he was wearing and into his plaid flannel sleeveless shirt he wears for his show. He came out and began to talk to some fans and the VIP people who were there. Turns out a lot of them were high-ups for Wright State University (My college).
This is the part of my story I ALWAYS make a point to tell people when they ask about working for Larry The Cable Guy. As Dan stood and talked to the WSU people, he offered each and every one of them food from the spread that was laid out. This is the spread that is for the crew only and he offered it to everyone. The one person who did take him up on his offer was an 8 year old boy who was there with his parents who had something to do with the University. He took Dan up on his offer when he asked him “You want sumtn ta eat?” The little boy grabbed a plate and Dan actually walked behind the boy and helped him fix his plate. At the time I thought that was the coolest thing ever. He is this huge star who makes all this money and has all these people who come out just to see him and he is still a humble person. Now that I actually have a son, I know for a fact I would have done the exact same thing. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be on the road and away from your family. He has a son who was very young at the time of this, so it broke my heart a little bit to know he was probably missing him like crazy and this helped him feel better.
While Reno took the stage, Dan did his meet and greet with a bunch of fans that won contests. By meet and greet, I mean they all lined up, got their picture taken, and were shoved out the door. So if any of you win VIP passes or something to a show or concert, do not expect to sit around, drink beers and shoot pool with your favorite star. Only I get to do that. As much as you want to believe this will happen, it won’t. These people do this for a LIVING and they are in a different city every night doing this meet and greet crap every night with hundreds of people who were just as lucky as you. I can’t blame them for probably being exhausted and this is just another part of their routine. Sorry if I crushed your dreams. L
After Reno came off the stage, it was Dan’s turn. Terry told me that there was really nothing for me to do at that point and asked me if I would like to watch the show from the side of the stage. Like….practically front row!! Um…..Gee let me think about that! I sat on the lighting boxes and watched the whole show…and let me tell you….I laughed so hard that my stomach was sore the next day. All the police/security at the front of the stage were stifling laughter as well. Blue collar comedy is funny. (I don’t care who you are that’s funny right there.) If you disagree, then pull the stick out of your ass and get the hell off my website!
This is where it gets fun…As the show ended, we all headed back to the backstage lounge area where Dan talked to a few more WSU fans. I sat around with some of his crew and somehow we got on the subject of dipping. I admitted to Dan that I had no idea what it was and had to call someone. He laughed and held the can out for me to try some. So like the ill-informed idiot I was, I did. At first I didn’t really understand what all the fuss-OH HELLO wicked buzzzzzzz! OOOOOO! I feel Gooood! I asked for more. Dan gave me more. More buzz!!! I started to loosen up and joke around with the crew while Dan met with some more VIPs. One guy on the crew was laughing at my reaction to the buzz and offered me a beer. Hells Yeah!!! Let’s keep this party going!!!! By the time my boss at the Nutter center came over to me to say goodnight and give me my money, I had a beer in my hand and a huge wad of dip in my mouth. That probably looked SUPER professional.
So as I was talking to the assistant production manager about Skyline Chili and all things Cincinnati, THAT’s when it hit. Yep. You guessed it. Nausea. I immediately took the dip out, but it was too late. It didn’t come on bit by bit. It was like a freight train hit me. I sunk down in my chair and tried to act like I WASN'T about to hurl my guts up. He almost immediately asked me if I was ok because I had turned PALE white. (Ugh I am sitting here feeling nauseous just from remembering this) I told him I had to go barf and got up to hunt down a bathroom. It was coming up though, so I had to settle for a trash can under a desk that was in this hallway off to the side. I tried to be inconspicuous, but a couple of the fans saw me. One lady was super nice and grabbed me bottled water from the refreshment table and sat down with me after I hurled. Bless her heart.
So anyway, after I puked I felt completely normal again as if nothing happened. I came back out and tried to play it off as such, but everyone already knew….and I got ROASTED for it for the rest of the evening. Word even got around to Dan what had happened and he started calling me “barf girl”. The guy who originally gave me the skoal felt so terrible and kept apologizing. I told him he needed to buy me Wendy’s since my stomach was now empty hahaha. Instead, they invited me to join their poker game. It had been a long day and I was no longer needed and was allowed to leave but you can bet your ass I stayed. It was me, Dan, Reno and a couple of guys from the crew. Since they are all loaded they played with big bills and since I was a poor college student at the time, Dan put my money in for me. And let me tell you….this dude carries a wad of cash around in his pocket that could be a down payment on a house. It was literally a bunch of 100 dollar bills in a money clip. I tried not to act surprised though….I don’t know if I was successful.
We played Texas Hold em and it was honestly the BEST TIME EVER. We sat around talking like a bunch of friends and I even forgot a few times that I was sitting around with a couple very famous people. It was very natural and at one point Reno announced “This chick is awesome!!!!” and slapped me a high five. (It was because I told him that purple Gatorade turns your poop green and my roommates and I had tested the theory) And I even won a few hands!! After a while, it got late and I needed to get up for class the next morning. I thanked all the guys for letting me play and completely ignored the no picture rule and asked Dan for a picture. He was more than willing to oblige. Especially since he and all his friends made me barf and I was a good sport about it.
Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his bulging wad of cash. He handed me 3 of his $100 dollar bills and said “Thank you for sticking around and hanging out with us. It was fun!”
I had never been so shocked. What an amazingly-nice thing to do! I didn’t get paid a whole lot working at the tanning salon on campus and this was going to help me buy Christmas presents that year. All on Larry the Cable Guy! I was so excited when I jumped into the car. Because of the adrenaline rush all day long I had hardly eaten, and what I DID eat was sitting in the trash can under a desk at the Nutter Center, so I picked up my Wendy’s and called everyone I knew on the way home to gush about the day I just had! What a day it was! And to this day I still talk about it!!!
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I have a few reasons for posting this story. First off, it was pretty cool. Secondly, people always see this picture of me on my facebook and want to know how I got to meet Larry The Cable Guy. But most importantly, I wanted people to know what a down to earth nice guy he is! His crew was extremely friendly and low maintenance and he is just another guy earning a living and having fun while doing so. I have heard so many horror stories about other stars performing at the Nutter Center and what a nightmare they are to work for. To some people, Larry The Cable guy is just some dumb redneck who tells stupid, classless jokes…but what they don’t know is what a class act this guy truly is.
GIT-R-FREAKIN-DONE!!!
Meghan
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